TRAUMA OF DISCOVERY - WOMENS NARRATIVES OF BEING INFORMED THEY ARE HIV-INFECTED

The purposes of this research report are to describe women's subjectiv e experiences of being informed of a positive HIV antibody test and, f rom their point of view, to explain the meaning and impact of discover ing that one is HIV-infected. In this qualitative narrative study, a r acially diverse, low-income sample of 38 HIV-infected women shared the ir stories of HIV discovery during in-depth interviews. Findings of a multi-staged narrative analysis suggest that, for women like those in this study, the discovery of HIV seropositivity is a traumatic event, carrying with it elements that are common to other types of trauma: pe rceived threat to one's life and perceived responsibility for the deat hs of others. Overarching personal meanings, or metaphors, framed thes e women's experiences of the trauma of HIV discovery. HIV discovery wa s an epiphany for 10% of the sample, a confirmation for 37%, and a cal amity for 53%. Among their calamitous reactions were shock, fear, angu ish, and suicidality. The impact of learning that they were HIV-infect ed often took its toll in unrelenting misery, escalated drug use, tran smission risks, and destabilization of relationships, income, and shel ter Extensive excerpts from participants' interviews illustrate analyt ic findings. Implications for counselling and follow-up at diagnosis a nd early in the course of HIV illness are elaborated.