LOVE AND ILLUSION

The interplay between. idealization and disillusionment in the evoluti on of romantic love is examined. Idealization refers to the reawakenin g of conscious and unconscious fantasies that lovers project onto each other. Disillusionment refers to a change in perception that occurs w hen projections are not sustained. The optimal balance between idealiz ation and disillusionment facilitates the deepening of intimacy in a p rocess similar to the one Kohut describes in the development of self s tructure. Conversely, a great imbalance between idealization and disil lusionment can lead to heartache. Works by Freud, Kernberg, and Kohut are discussed.