INDIVIDUATION AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE

This paper examines relationship dynamics of couples in which the man has been violent toward the woman. The thesis offered here, from a sys temic perspective, is that violence in intimate couple relationships i s, in part, a distance-regulating mechanism that maintains a balance b etween separateness and connectedness in the relationship. The individ ual developmental process that allows a balance to be maintained witho ut violence or other ''distance regulators'' is individuation. Some of the theoretical positions taken by previous authors that clarify the connection between individuation and relationship dynamics are present ed. Next, the link between lack of individuation and relationship viol ence is explored using the work of other scholars to support our thesi s and the ''voices'' of women who have experienced date violence. The ''voices'' come from a multiple case study using qualitative methods a nd analyses conducted by the second author. Finally, therapeutic inter vention when relationship violence is viewed from the perspective sugg ested here is discussed.