Teasing and joking are instruments by which social control is exerted
and through which social identity is displayed. Situational humor, or
conversational joking - especially teasing has been seen as a double-e
dged sword that both diffuses and controls conflict. Little attention
has been given, though, to the bonding role of joking. Through an ethn
ography of speaking approach, we examine conversational joking among i
nterlocutors in two different speech communities. The data shows that
there are two types of moves in joking: one that is directed at a part
icipant in the conversation, having the potential of biting; the other
that is directed at an absent other, having the potential of bonding.
We compare types of situational humor with particular attention to in
terlocutor variables. Joking used to perform social identity is most s
trongly determined by the gender of participants and social distance b
etween them. Conversational joking does not act only as a means of soc
ial control and identity display, but also functions to develop a rela
tional identity among participants.