The families of gay employees have recently come onto the corporate radar s
creen. The needs they have in common with the families of straight employee
s can foster connection. There are also tensions between gay and straight e
mployees about the meanings of family, deeply rooted in the culture outside
the workplace and sometimes so provocative that they appear only in indire
ct allusions. The case of a corporate redesign of benefits surfaces both th
e language of these commonalities and tensions and the underlying principle
s of equality versus need. Providing equal benefits for all families has th
e advantage of honoring equally the many ways the employees define a family
, but the disadvantage of creating inequalities across families of differen
t sizes and types. A need-based distribution has the advantage of respectin
g differences, but the disadvantage of requiring a way to evaluate and rank
relative needs, which heightens tensions. The authors discuss how these tr
ade-offs are voiced and played out.