This essay presents an analysis of violence in intimate life that draw
s on multiple theoretical perspectives. These include but are not limi
ted to feminist theory, object relations theory, systems theory, narra
tive and social constructionist theory, and neurobiology. It is argued
that it is possible to be effective in ending violence and abuse thro
ugh a modified couples treatment format that addresses relationship is
sues, individual trauma, and biological vulnerability while simultaneo
usly taking a clear, moral position, that violence, abuse, and inequal
ity are intolerable in any form.