GRIEF AND THE SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP OF COUPLES WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED A CHILDS DEATH

In an interview study of the sexual relationship of bereaved parents, 16 of 24 heterosexual couples interviewed after the death of a child r eported a break or decline in sexual intercourse. Consistent with soci al constructivist perspectives, the meanings couples gave to sexual in tercourse, the death, and their grief were central in their understand ing of the break or deline-e.g., the belief that intercourse was too p ainful because it was how the child had been made. Meanings were also linked to the continuation or resumption of the intercourse-e.g., that intercourse was life-affirming. Touching, which was defined as sexual by many people interviewed, had consistent meanings across couples-co nnection, support, and comfort-although couples differed in whether to uching increased, decreased, or did not increase enough to safisfy one partner following the death. The meanings that couples wed in discuss ing touching and the decline or break in sexual intercourse were also wed in talking about extramarital affairs and grieving during intercou rse.