FIND YOUR PARTNER AND DO-SI-DO - THE FORMATION OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN SOCIAL BEINGS

Personal relationships have generally been studied from the perspectiv e that the persons involved are psychological beings who are drawn tog ether as they come to know, value, and share their respective inner qu alities and experiences. However, it is also possible to examine relat ionships from the perspective that the persons involved are social bei ngs who are drawn together as they each come to fi nd the other's ways of participating in communal life to be attractive and compatible. Fr om the latter perspective, an established, committed relationship betw een two social beings would consist of an effective partnership in a v ariety of arenas of communal life because their respective ways of par ticipating are mutually facilitative. Comparison of the two perspectiv es on empirical grounds indicates that they are surprisingly congruent , and that integrating them is more productive than trying to promote one over the other. This comparison also indicates that communication plays multiple roles in the process of engaging in a personal relation ship, and is suggestive about how much we still need to find out about the lived experience of persons in relationships, and how research mi ght proceed in that regard.