Negotiating couplehood: The process of resolving the December dilemma among interfaith couples

Christmas forces interfaith couples to address questions concerning holiday observances. The purpose of this investigation was to explore the experien ce of the "December dilemma," that is, the experience of Christmas and Hanu kah among couples in which one partner is Jewish. A qualitative design base d on the continuous comparison method of Grounded Theory analysis was used. Participants were solicited through interfaith couples' programs, referral , and snowballing. Unstructured interactive interviews of 22 couples were a udiotaped, transcribed and analyzed. The categories generated were: Ghosts of Christmas and Hanukah Past, Coming Together, and Holiday Observances as a Couple. The basic problem facing these couples teas how to bridge religio us backgrounds with differing holiday traditions in a way that integrated r espect for each partner's needs, heritage, and identity. The basic social p rocess of negotiating "couplehood," that is, moving from individuality to p artnership emerged when mutual agreement could be reached to solve problems about how to celebrate the December holidays. The data indicated that expl oration of the ways these couples managed the dilemmas created by the Decem ber holidays provided a window to how they negotiated other challenges in t heir relationships.