This case relates to the way in which a young patient developed serious dif
ficulties in coping with her life in the years following a successful bone-
marrow transplant. By means of an illustrative metaphor, she revealed her e
xistential position and the way in which she attempted to deal with her anx
iety. Being diseased implied that life's order was replaced by disorder and
a loss of basic trust. She tried to re-establish order by establishing bel
iefs that attributed specific regularities to life, and to influence the ri
sk of recurrence by living according to these beliefs. Unfortunately, this
meant that she had to tread a very thin line over a course mined with anxie
ty and eventually, she became a prisoner of her own creation. The author cl
aims that we can learn from this case, as it clearly illustrates psychologi
cal dimensions commonly seen in cancer patients: the way anxiety is related
to disorder and the way patients try to regain control of their lives thro
ugh constructing belief-systems. The case also features a discussion of how
we, as clinicians, may be able to help these patients. Copyright (C) 2000
John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.