Sadomasochistic relating: What's sex got to do with it?

The sexuality in sadomasochistic relating is most often viewed as defensive , functioning to erotize the repetition of earlier trauma, as a defense aga inst Painful affect, or as masking early, nonerotic needs for recognition a nd autonomy. However, this emphasis on the nonerotic dimension of so-called sexualized experience leads to symbolic interpretations of sexuality; this "delitmalization of sexuality" requires some embodiment in the concrete an d literal, or metaphor is delinked from that which it is derived. Without discounting the validity of such formulations, this paper aims to p ut the drive (libido) back into fomulations of sadomasochistic relations, a nd discusses the erotic dimension in sadomasochistic relations as an irredu cible, hidden structure that both threatens and sustains the destructive at tachment. It is suggested that sexuality is a driving force behind sadomaso chistic interplay, while aggression may be recruited for defensive, conceal ing purposes. Through a case illustration, this paper demonstrates how sado masochistic relating is symbolically penetrating, teasing, withholding, and intensifying in hate-inducing ways, all of which are designed to gratify a nd simultaneously hardest the other: In many cases, sadomasochistic sexuali ty may be viewed as aggressivized, paradoxically, to maintain safety under the regressive pull of sexual and preoedipal longings.