Creating Mr. Right and Ms. Right: Interpersonal ideals and personal changein newlyweds

Based on research on exchanging information during conflict (e.g., Levinger , 1983) and the energizing effects of negative feelings (e.g., Lewin, 1951; Gottman & Krokoff, 1989), this study explores circumstances in which indiv iduals change, over the years, in fulfillment of their spouses' unmet ideal s for them. In a longitudinal study of over 200 African American newlywed c ouples and White newlywed couples, respondents' ratings were combined to fo rm an index of individuals' change in fulfillment of their partners' initia lly unmet ideals for them. Predictions were that individuals would change m ore when they listen and try to understand their partners' feelings during Conflict or when they have negative feelings about the functioning of the r elationship. Results were that high openness to information exchange during conflict predicted high change for White husbands, White wives, and Africa n American wives, and negative feelings about relationship functioning pred icted high change for White wives, African American wives, and African Amer ican husbands.