This paper discusses speculative disaster scenarios inspired by hypothetica
l new fundamental processes that might occur in high-energy relativistic he
avy-ion collisions. The authors estimate the parameters relevant to black-h
ole production and find that they are absurdly small. They show that other
accelerator and (especially) cosmic-ray environments have already provided
far more auspicious opportunities for transition to a new vacuum state, so
that existing observations provide stringent bounds. The possibility of pro
ducing a dangerous strangelet is discussed in most detail. The authors argu
e that four separate requirements are necessary for this to occur: existenc
e of large stable strangelets, metastability of intermediate size strangele
ts, negative charge for strangelets along the stability line, and productio
n of intermediate size strangelets in the heavy ion environment. Both theor
etical and experimental reasons why each of these appears unlikely are disc
ussed. In particular, the authors know of no plausible suggestion for why t
he third or especially the fourth might be true. Given minimal physical ass
umptions, the continued existence of the Moon, in the form we know it, desp
ite billions of years of cosmic-ray exposure, provides powerful empirical e
vidence against the possibility of dangerous strangelet production.