The mismeasure of love: How self-doubt contaminates relationship beliefs

The authors argue that individuals with more negative models of self are in volved in less satisfying relationships because they have difficulty believ ing that they are loved by good partners. Dating and married couples comple ted measures of self-models, perceptions of the partner's love, perceptions of the partner, and relationship well-being. The results revealed that ind ividuals troubled by self-doubt underestimated the strength of their partne r's love. Such unwarranted insecurities predicted less positive perceptions of their partners. In conjunction, feeling less loved by a less-valuable p artner predicted less satisfaction and less optimism for the future than th e partner's feelings of love and commitment warranted. A dependency regulat ion model is described where feeling loved by a good, responsive partner is thought to represent a sense of felt security that diminishes the risks of interdependence and promotes closeness.