This paper emanates from a small-scale qualitative study, currently in prog
ress, looking at the implications for older people of decisions made by a s
ocial services department that they are ineligible for service provision. W
hile the operation of eligibility criteria in the UK has been shown to excl
ude an increasing number of prospective users from receiving a service, lit
tle is known about how those refused a service contend with their difficult
ies or the implications these strategies have for them. The paper focuses o
n themes that have emerged during the first phases of the study in relation
to how older people endeavour to manage their 'unmet need'. It is suggeste
d that a key integrative theme concerns their efforts to maintain a positiv
e sense of self indicating, it is argued, the need for processes involved i
n the seeking, receiving and giving of help to be managed in a way that sus
tains the sense of self of the older person.