The inner life of executive kids

In the last 20 years, business has become the dominant institution in Ameri can society, in many respects usurping the role once played by religion. As such, business has infiltrated every aspect of our lives-including the hea rts and minds of our children. For many, it is an unsettling force. The wil d competitiveness of business today compels managers to be constantly avail able for customers and colleagues, inevitably reducing the time and energy they can devote to their kids. Although stories of the impact of business l ife on children rarely appear in the business press, debate rages in the br oader community, and many parents fear that their children may be paying th e price for their success. Is that price too high? In an in-depth interview with HBR senior editor Dia ne Coutu, writer and child psychoanalyst Robert Coles speaks to that questi on. Perhaps surprisingly, given the fashion for criticizing the way childre n are raised today, Coles is optimistic about the next generation. He rejec ts the stereotype of the hopelessly spoiled rich kid, instead emphasizing c hildren's extraordinary adaptability and ingenuity. "Wealth can weaken some children in certain ways," he says, "unless parents know how to ask of the m as well as give to theme In this interview, Cole also examines the role of working women in parentin g, explores the difference for children between healthy entitlement and nar cissistic entitlement, and suggests how we might listen to our children bet ter. "Our children are wonderfully aware and awake," Coles says. "if only w e'd stop and listen to the spiritual reflections and questions of our sons and daughters, we might learn something very important about them and about ourselves."