This personal essay describes the author's theoretical and methodologi
cal journey in her quest for understanding of wholeness as a basic con
cept of the discipline of nursing. She asserts that wholeness, seen as
pattern and meaning of the life process, is not amenable to external
measurement and control, but is learned from within by a hermeneutic d
ialectic process with clients. The emphasis on the evolution of undivi
ded wholeness is: consistent with a unitary-transformative paradigm of
the discipline.